Remembering Denise Retrosi- Edmonds: A Life Full of Adventure and Love

How do you say goodbye to the person who brought you into this world?

To the person who taught you to walk, to run, and to laugh—often at yourself.

A woman wearing a teal jacket stands between two horses, smiling and gently touching one of them. The background features a rural landscape with snow-capped mountains.

Denise  Retrosi Edmonds

July 17, 1946 –  January 5, 2026 age 79

Denise Retrosi -Edmonds passed away peacefully at the age of 79, leaving behind a life so full, adventurous, creative, and deeply loved that it almost feels unfair to try to fit it into words.

Denise was born July 17, 1946, in Canton, Ohio, to Dean and Violet Carlisle. From the very beginning, she carried a toughness balanced by warmth, fairness, and an unmistakable joy for life. My mom was the original badass.

As a single mother early in our lives, she somehow mastered the art of being “spontaneous.” She would give my brother Chris and me a few hours to pack for a “quick trip” to Washington, D.C. or North Carolina. As an adult, I now understand how much planning, sacrifice, saved money, time off work, and sheer determination went into those so-called spontaneous adventures. She made magic look easy.

In 1982, Denise married Robert “Bob” Edmonds. Together they blended their families and raised four strong boys—each of whom went on to find their own versions of success, love, and purpose. She is survived by her husband Bob; her siblings Dean Carlisle (Flo Carlisle), Liz Carlisle, and Lisa McIntosh; and her children Tony Retrosi (Stephanie Retrosi), Tom Edmonds (Indra Edmonds), and Chris Retrosi. She is reunited with our brother, her son Jeff Edmonds (deceased), who was married to Bridget Edmonds.

Through those boys came nine grandchildren who were the absolute center of her world: Madison and Chase Retrosi; Emilia and James Edmonds; Joseph, Michael, and Mathew Retrosi; and Fiona and Oliver Edmonds. She didn’t just love her grandchildren—she invested in them. Hard. Fully. Joyfully.

My Mom spent much of her life in the gymnastics world as a coach, club administrator, and official, judging and coaching all the way up through National Championships.  She was my first coach and mentor. I would not be the coach I am today without the education she gave me. She shaped athletes, but more importantly, she shaped people—teaching confidence, resilience, and how to show up prepared for life.

A selfie of two people smiling in front of a scenic landscape with steam rising from geothermal features, suggesting a cold environment.

She was always up for adventure. She traveled widely, visited many countries, cruised Cape Horn, and seemed to collect experiences the way others collect souvenirs. From Iceland to Italy, from China to Argentina, from visiting family in Sweden to hiking Glacier National Park—if there was something new to see, she wanted to see it.

Music and laughter were constant companions. She loved to sing, performing with groups on the Seacoast of New Hampshire, and she loved entertaining. She was often the life of the party, always dressed to be noticed, always ready to celebrate life.

Silhouette of a woman overlooking the ocean at sunset, with warm golden light reflecting on the water.

One of the most treasured chapters of Denise and Bob’s life was their home on North River Lake in New Hampshire. There, she taught everyone to waterski, and she and Bob were equally happy to provide near-death experiences on the tube. That lake became a training ground not just for balance and bravery—but for memories.

She was never the grandma who quietly baked cookies and whispered reminders. She was the grandma who took kids on expeditions. Picking up our children after a weekend with Grandma and Grandpa was always an adventure report: they had stayed up late to look at the stars, gone swimming and fishing, planted in the garden, gone for hikes, and possibly dissected roadkill. They were introduced to exotic cuisine like Hot Pockets and Cheese Whiz. Vegetables were rarely harmed in the process.

One memory that will never leave me is pulling into the driveway at the lake—both kids flinging their doors open, running full speed, and tackling her in the garden, covering her with kisses while she laughed so hard she could barely stand. I can still hear that laughter.

In retirement, after relocating to Punta Gorda, Florida in 2010, Denise didn’t slow down—she simply changed scenery. She became the grandma of the neighborhood. She gardened, beaded, crafted, birded, kayaked the Peace River, boated, fished, explored. She and Bob turned weekends into adventures.

In her Florida neighborhood, children constantly asked her to “come out and play.” She was loved there as she was everywhere—because she showed up, because she listened, because she laughed, because she made life feel lighter.

I always knew it wouldn’t last forever.

I just wished it lasted longer.

Mom lived boldly. She loved fiercely. She created a life full of movement, music, dirt under her fingernails, grandchildren in her arms, and stories that will be told for generations.

She was an avid reader and especially loved Stephen King novels introducing me to his work when I was about 12 and then my daughter to his writing as well. BTW- we just got a notice that she has an overdue book from the local library. Well- good luck tracking her down! 

Her laughter will echo in all of us.

From Stephen Kings The Dark Tower: 

Go Now, Our journey is done. And may we meet again in the clearing at the end of the path.  

Untitled Poem I wrote the other night. 

She stood like stone and summer rain,

tough hands, an open heart,

fair in her judgments, steady in her love,

never louder than her laughter.

She loved without bargaining,

taught without preaching,

and when life tested us,

she stood firm so we could bend.

Now she has crossed the quiet line,

where strong women are not laid to rest

but welcomed—

cups raised, stories told.

From Valhalla her laughter rings,

bright and fearless,

rolling like thunder we somehow recognize.

We walk on steadier ground because she walked first.

We love more bravely because she showed us how.

And though her hands we cannot hold,

her strength is woven into our days.

Tony Retrosi, 4 January 2026

A hand-drawn quote saying, 'When I look back on life, I want to see I didn't try to age gracefully... I aged hilariously, mischievously, and with plenty of stories to tell.'
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Reflections on Life and Friendship.

This was copied from one of my other blogs (VACILANDO). I thought it was worth sharing here.

The Spirit of ‘76 — A Dedication to My Friends Through the Years

There’s a line from a song that hits me every time I hear it:

And me, I’ve seen my dreams come true

But that don’t make me no hero, just one of the lucky few…

It’s from Spirit of ‘76 by The Alarm — a song about growing, surviving, taking chances, and holding on to belief even when the world gets dark. Mike Peters, who wrote it, recently passed away. He was an incredible songwriter, and oddly enough, I ran into him a few times over the years. It’s a story for another day, but it connects deeply with my brother, who passed away ten years ago from the same cancer that took Mike’s life. Life’s strange like that — full of echoes, connections, and chance moments that never quite leave you.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the friends who helped shape me, especially those I grew up with during the 70s and 80s. It was a different world back then — one without GPS tracking, instant messages, or helicopter parenting. We were wild, mostly unsupervised, and totally free. Feral, some might say, and maybe that’s not wrong.

Our parents worked. We raised ourselves — and sometimes our siblings too. From the moment we could ride a bike, we could be anywhere: at the lake, in the city, maybe even a different state. It was chaotic, and it was beautiful. Tight friendships were not a luxury; they were a necessity. There were no cell phones to check in with, no social safety nets. Your lifeline was your crew. You stuck together, or you sank.

Those years taught me how to read people, how to adapt, how to lead, and how to follow. We learned resilience not from books, but from scraped knees, missed buses, heartbreaks, and long summer nights with nothing but music, stars, and dreams.

Two men smiling together while taking a selfie in a cozy, stylish indoor setting with various furnishings in the background.

Fast forward to last week — I was on a work trip in Iceland, and I had dinner and a beer with one of my oldest friends. Someone I met during my first year of college. Back in the fall of 1984, I had just quit competitive gymnastics and was coaching to pay the bills. I wanted to be a teacher. Or maybe a politician. I had no real idea — just this drive to do something that mattered.

We were part of the punk and new wave scene. We studied hard, worked harder, and lived for the weekends when we’d see bands, play a little music ourselves (badly), and just exist in this weird, beautiful community of misfits. It was raw. It was real. It was formative. And that friend? He helped me find myself when I didn’t even know I was lost.

During those college years in New York, I started feeling the push from my parents and professors to fit into boxes. A teacher should look like this. A politician shouldn’t say that. A gymnastics coach? That’s a dead-end job. You’ll never make any money. You’ll never make a difference.

And yet, I kept going.

Eventually, I transferred to a school in New Hampshire. Summers were spent coaching at a gymnastics camp just outside NYC. I was one of the younger coaches — full of nerves, full of awe. But I learned. I grew. I made more friends — and quietly fell in love with someone. (I could write volumes about the people at this camp. Love them all). Life was intense and vivid and complicated, and I wouldn’t change a second of it.

What strikes me now, looking back, is how those friends — the ones from college, the ones from camp — saw me. Really saw me. Not for who I was supposed to be, but for who I was becoming. They accepted the radical thinker, the idealist, the scrappy coach, the music-obsessed kid with big ideas and no clue how to pay rent.

And here I am now. Writing this from the terrace of my apartment in Italy. I’ve got an amazing wife — my rock for over 35 years. Two kids, grown, thriving, chasing their own paths. I’ve coached a few gymnasts who have made Olympic teams, yes. But more importantly, I’ve helped athletes become who they are, in and out of the gym.

But my heart is also with the friends who have struggled — and there have been many. Some have faced down their demons and still fight them every day. Some fell into patterns they couldn’t quite break — whether it was drugs, alcohol, failed relationships, or simply the weight of expectations that never matched their own dreams. Some just never quite “closed the deal” or found the life they were looking for. I see you. I still believe in you. I believe in your ability not just to survive — but to flourish. Think back to the dreams we shared. The promises we made in parking lots and coffee shops and on the hoods of cars in the dead of night. There is still time. 

You see, some nights when I can’t sleep

I still think of you

And all the promises, all our dreams we shared

I know those lights still call to you

I can hear them now…

And every now and then, like anyone else who’s lived a little, I find myself flashing back to those Talking Heads lyrics:

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?”

A humorous image of a white car half inside a house, protruding from a broken window while a quote from the song 'Once in a Lifetime' by Talking Heads is displayed.

It’s surreal — because that’s exactly what happened. Somehow, in the whirlwind of choices, failures, detours, and friendships, I ended up here. And the honest answer is: I got here because of the people who stood by me. Who lifted me up. Who challenged me, believed in me, and let me be messy and real and unfinished.

The work was hard. The path wasn’t always clear. But it was worth it.

And me? I’ve seen my dreams come true.

But I know I’m just one of the lucky few.

So this is for my friends — the ones from those lost summers and gritty winters, from New York and New Hampshire, from the campgrounds and the music clubs, from the gyms and the midnight drives. Some of you are still here. Some are gone too soon. All of you live in the best parts of me.

“I still believe a man can change his own destiny

But the price is high that has got to be paid

For everyone who survives, there are many who fail…”

I carry your spirit with me — the spirit of ’76. And I will never give in until the day I die.

October 19. International Evaluate Your Life Day

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Evaluate Your Life Day is a bit scary. It sounds just a little bit too serious for my liking. And, what if I evaluate my life, and find out that I don’t like it????????

fullsizeoutput_497fWell, for starters, you can then make positive changes.

Evaluate Your Life Day gives us the opportunity to pause and reflect upon our life, where it’s been, and where its going. C’mon, be honest with yourself. Are things going well? What is bothering you? What do you need, or want, to change? How’s your Job? Why are you stressed? How is your relationship with friends and family?

With a self evaluation, you can then make big changes to improve the quality of your life, as necessary. Or, if things are going well, just tinker with small adjustments.

I have to believe that  Evaluate Your Life Day is the beginning of a happier and healthier you!


Origin of Evaluate Your Life Day:

Evaluate Your Life Day was created by the good folks at Wellcat.com

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